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alright, right back atcha:
F.U.C.K. is an acronym for:
Fornication Under Carnal Knowledge
Fornication Under The Crowns Knowledge
Freidship U Can Keep
Friends University of Central Kansas
Frined U Can Keep source
Also, from Wikipedia:
"Early usage
The earliest reference appears to be the name "John Le Fucker", which John Ayto's Dictionary of Word Origins dates to 1278. What John did to earn this name is unknown.
Its first known use as a verb meaning to fornicate is in a poem titled "Flen flyys" some time before 1500. Written half in English and half in Latin, the poem includes the word fuccant, a hybrid of English root with Latin conjugation, disguised in the text by a simple code. It was originally written as gxddbov, and is decrypted by substituting each letter with the letter which precedes it in the alphabet (keep in mind the alphabet that was used at the time).
William Dunbar's 1503 poem "Brash of Wowing" includes the lines: "Yit be his feiris he wald haif fukkit:/ Ye brek my hairt, my bony ane."
Some time around 1600, before the term acquired its current meaning, "windfucker" was an acceptable name for the bird now known as the kestrel.
While Shakespeare never used the term explicitly, he hinted at it in comic scenes in several plays. The Merry Wives of Windsor (IV.i) contains focative case (see vocative case). In Henry V (IV.iv), Pistol threatens to firk (strike) a soldier, a euphemism for fuck.
There are some urban legends postulating an acronymic origin for the word. In the most popular version, it is said that the word "fuck" came from Irish law. If a couple were "Found Under Carnal Knowledge" they would be penalized, with FUCK as the crime. Other variants include the ideas that the word came from "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge," "Fornication Under Consent of the King," or "Fornication Unlawful in the Commonwealth of the King." However, all these explanations are considered to be backronyms and hence recent inventions."